LOL (Laugh Out Loud)

A few memories that would rank up there with my Top 10 Most Unforgettable Moments…all in the past 2 weeks!!!

DUMBEST: For some reason Keith had poured hydrogen peroxide in a cup and I drank it…AND this is not the first time that this has happened!!! He had mentioned that the “cup” on the cabinet had hydrogen peroxide in it (knowing my history). Later that day, while doing dishes (True Confession---I usually drink the water in the glasses, since we have to pay for water service; I don’t want to waste the water! Continue reading after you have recovered from being totally grossed out by my poor hygiene habits…) I drank the glass with water…remembering Keith had mentioned the hydrogen peroxide in the cup…assuming he meant the coffee cup sitting next to the glass. None the less, after my mouth stopped foaming, I read the label which says to call the poison control center if ingested!!! After throwing up (which I have not done since the early months of pregnancy), I called the medical clinic in Moscow. After the doctor recovered from chuckling, she said I would be fine and just drink lots of water…without hydrogen peroxide!!!

EMBARRASSING: I was running late for my regular aerobics class, so I decided to try CLUB MIX that one of my new friends had invited me to. I assumed that CLUB was referring to our fine Sports Center as a club and would include highlights from the various different aerobic classes…I never dreamed it meant NIGHT CLUB!!! I joined 5 much younger and in much better shape ladies in learning the latest club dance moves!!! Let just say, at the first break, after I recovered from literally dieing of embarrassment, I snuck-out and went to run on the treadmill!

STUPID: I finally experienced my first run in with the Russian Traffic Police! I was going to the grocery store right before picking up the kids from school. This requires a left turn across 2 white lines---which now I know is one of the worst things a driver can do!!! A police officer greeted me in my parked car and invited me to join him (and 2 other officers) in his car. Thankfully, I grabbed my cell and eagerly went on my first police adventure. I was anticipating a friendly chat about the rules of the road and a nice warning not to turn left again. I was soo wrong. One of the police officers was a total grump. He demanded to see my documents, which were all in a jumbled mess and continued to shout at me until I found my driver’s license and translated copy. He immediately said that he was going to keep my license for 6 months. I tried to explain that I had only been driving a few months and that this was my first traffic violation (AKA first time being caught!) and that he could not take my license. He informed me that he could not only take my driver’s license, but also my car. I said that I thought that this fact was incorrect and I was going to call my lawyer (AKA our Office in Moscow). While trying to reach Moscow (I now know that they can take my license), one of the nicer police officers called the Police Headquarters to ask if they could keep a Canadian’s license. I informed him that I was not from Canada, but from America. He glanced at my license then said, “No a Mexican” (my license is from New Mexico). I said, “I am not a Mexican. I am an American from the United States of America!”…of course with a big, proud smile!!! Thankfully, he laughed too! I asked if they would just right me a ticket and they informed me a ticket would be $100! Keith has never had to pay more than 100 rubles ($4), so I said that I would give them 100 rubles, but I would not give them $100…not that I even had $100 at the time! The mean officer told me to get in my car and follow them to the Police Station, while the other two nice officers tried to persuade him to let me go. I asked if I was being sent to jail (because I did not know the word for arrested) and the nicer officer laughed and said of course not! I then said that if I was not being put in jail, they could keep my license and anything else they wanted, but in 5 minutes I needed to pick my kids up from school. The mean officer threw my documents at me and told me to get out of the car. No ticket, no fine and I still had my license! I was shocked and soo thankful!!! It was not until later that evening the reality of the whole situation settled in and I realized that I had been a little too confident…which is why I refer to this as at least one of the stupidest most memorable moments of my life! Praise the Lord for His protection and grace!!!

A few days later, while parked at a red light, one of the nice police officers stopped me to say to say hi and ask how I had been doing!!! How funny!!!

GROSSEST: We have had numerous unexpected and extremely unwelcome house guests. I went on a search and destroy mission this past week and discovered a whole family of cock roaches (I know~this is so unbelievably disgusting!!!) They had made a home in a small pipe on the top of our cabinets, by the oven vent. After recovering from the shock of an entire family of cock roaches living with us, I screamed for Keith’s help. He said that there were at least 8 cock roaches and babies!!! GROSS!!! Thankfully, since this discovery, we have only seen one more! Please join us in praying that their relatives and friends would not come looking for them, but would find a nice home very far away!!!